Estimated read time: 5 minutes

Overcoming Fear Through Fear Inoculation: My Journey with Public Speaking and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

Estimated read time: 5 minutes

Fear can feel like a chokehold, especially when it’s rooted in childhood wounds. For me, it gripped tightest in public speaking and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) tournaments. Public speaking stirred memories of being bullied, while BJJ fueled a need to prove I wasn’t worthless. Through fear inoculation—facing fears in small, deliberate steps—I turned these fears into strengths. Here’s how I did it, from lobbying at public hearings to coaching others, and how you can build confidence in your own battles.

The Roots of My Fear

Growing up, I was an easy target. My parents were outcasts, practicing a religion tied to Egyptian history, separate from the Mormon church we kids attended. We were dirt poor—tattered clothes, empty fridge. In 4th grade, I gave a speech on Egyptian history, a topic my dad loved. I was proud, but the kids tore me down: “No one should listen to you. Your parents are poor and do bad things.” Speaking up became synonymous with exposing my family to attack. That fear followed me, and in BJJ, it morphed into a need to prove myself against those childhood taunts.

Public Speaking: From Trembling to Triumph

Public speaking felt like walking into a lion’s den. Yet, I dove into lobbying, speaking at public hearings to assembly members about causes I believed in. I was terrified—my voice shook, my body trembled, and opponents attacked my stance. But I got through it. Each hearing proved I could survive. As a coach, I knew I had to speak fearlessly to help others shed life’s labels, so I leaned into fear inoculation:

1. Step 1: Lobbying as Exposure Those hearings were my crucible. Facing assembly members and hostile opponents forced me to speak despite the shakes. Each time, I calibrated my delivery, getting a little steadier.
2. Step 2: Speaking Class I joined a public speaking class, delivering impromptu speeches to a small group. My talks were rough, but peer feedback was invaluable. Each session conditioned me to see the audience as allies, not enemies, making me more comfortable.
3. Step 3: Coaching with Confidence Now, as a coach, I speak to groups about overcoming limitations. The fear lingers, but it’s manageable. I’ve calibrated my voice to inspire, not tremble, building on those early, messy steps.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: Proving vs. Growing

BJJ was my other proving ground. I started training to silence the bullies’ voices, driven by a “win at all costs” mindset. I’d refuse to tap in dangerous submissions, escaping through grit. It built mental fortitude, but the pressure to never lose was paralyzing. I’d worry: “If I lose, will it prove them right? Am I worthless?” My performances suffered—tense, overthinking, not flowing.

Fear inoculation helped me shift from proving to growing:

1. Step 1: Technical Rolls I focused on slow, controlled rolls, prioritizing technique over victory. “Losing” in practice, with no stakes, taught me to see setbacks as learning.
2. Step 2: Filmed Matches I filmed every match, win or lose, and reviewed them with my coach. We’d analyze mistakes, adjust my game, and calibrate. The footage was my feedback loop, like the speaking class critiques. Losses became data, not defeats.
3. Step 3: Tournaments with Balance In regional tournaments, I competed with a new mindset. I still burned to win—BJJ demands it—but I didn’t let loss define me. When I lost after dozens of wins, it wasn’t the end. I reviewed the tape, tweaked my approach, and kept going. Calibration was key.

The Power of Calibration

Both public speaking and BJJ taught me that growth is about calibration. Sloppy speeches and opponent attacks were feedback, not failure. In BJJ, every filmed match was a chance to refine my game. You can’t settle for losing in competition—you’re there to win—but you can’t let it break you. Fear inoculation helped me find that balance, reducing anxiety (studies suggest up to 60%) by facing fears step-by-step.

Start Your Journey

Want to conquer a fear? Try this:

• Name It: Is it speaking, competing, or something else?
• Start Small: Tackle a low-stakes version, like practicing alone or with a trusted group.
• Calibrate: Seek feedback—film yourself, ask for critiques, adjust.
• Keep Going: Setbacks are data. Use them to grow.

Public speaking let me honor that 4th-grader who deserved to be heard. BJJ showed me I’m more than the labels others gave me. Fear isn’t a cage—it’s a chance to calibrate. If you’re ready to build confidence in any area of your life, I’d love to help. Contact me at wellness@evolvedlifemastery.com to start your journey.

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